Château de Berne
2019 / $20 / 13%
I bought this wine solely because of how mad it made me just from looking at it. I believe that all wine should come in a traditional wine bottle and anything that doesn’t is just pretentious. This bottle screams pretentious A-hole from the outside. The audacity of a vintner to put wine in a square bottle – that resembles top-shelf vodka just drove me crazy. So, naturally I bought it… for $19. Who’s the A-hole now? Hook line and sunk me.
But goddamn if I’m not feelin the Berne! These sons of bitches actually put a high-quality Rosé in that square ass, and I’m even more furious than I was before. Berne, why you have to go and make a delicious Rosé and throw it in this stunod of a bottle!? It’s just superb and I’m not ashamed to say it. Call me white girl basic, but Rosé is delicious and I’m proud of that!
Rosé undeservedly gets a bad rap. There are few smells like the aroma of a freshly de-corked cold Rosé. I’ll rank them for you. Number one, garlic simmering in olive oil. Number two, wood burning fire. Number three, freshly mowed grass. Number four, the ocean at sunrise (yes, there is a smell). And number five, a freshly opened bottle of cold Rosé. Cold, crisp, and right to Dan’s heart. You don’t agree? Well, go kick rocks! Doesn’t hurt that number five goes perfectly with one through four…
This wine does everything a good Rosé should do. It’s dry but smooth, has a hint of acidity and makes me dream of warm beaches and lobster rolls. It also went surprisingly well with tacos! Now normally when drinking Rosé, I’m trying to live my best basic white girl life (minus the Uggs, pumpkin spice latte, and clothes from Forever 21). And that doesn’t usually come with a $20 bottle of wine. So, with that being said. I’d recommend this bottle to the person who isn’t quite sold on Rosé yet. You’re either going to realize you’ve been missing out on something fabulous or you’ll continue to be a fool and miss out on one of God’s greatest creations.
Speaking of God. God do I hate this square ass bottle but love this good ass wine!
Taste – 8
Smell – 9
Recommend – 8
Complexity – 6
Price – 9
Overall – 40 out of 50
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